Building Self Esteem

Self-esteem is an individual's overall evaluation of themselves, encompassing their sense of self-worth. When one's self-esteem is high, individuals feel confident in their abilities and maintain a positive self-image. Holding yourself highly is generally seen as a good thing, as it empowers you and limits negative thoughts. Negative self-esteem can be very problematic as it can lead to anxiety, depression, and stress, all of which can have a large impact on your life. Someone with low self-esteem will often feel worthless, cannot find the positive in any situation, and feel that they aren't able to do anything. Signs of these thoughts include being vocally self-critical, having low energy, being unmotivated, and socially withdrawing. Having low self-esteem can stem from a variety of things, including childhood trauma, not meeting others' expectations, and a lack of love and positive affirmations in your life.


The important thing to realize about self-esteem is that even if it's low now, it can be raised through a variety of strategies and techniques, such as self-esteem counselling.


Building self-esteem is a way to stay healthy and can have positive effects on your mental health. There are many things you can do to build self-esteem, but building it up high and maintaining it takes work and time. The first step is to focus on what happens in your life by limiting your obsession with the past or fixation on the future. This allows you to be present and appreciate where you are and what you are doing. Building yourself up can also happen through practicing self-acceptance, which is an agreement to love yourself unconditionally no matter what choices you make. It is a commitment to not be hard on yourself when you make a mistake, but instead, acknowledge it and try and move on. 

Another important key to building self-esteem is to practice assertiveness. Often in life, people do the easy thing by not advocating for and prioritizing themselves. How can you build up high self-esteem if you don't give yourself the care you need to thrive and set the boundaries that make you feel comfortable and heard? Setting these will help empower you through counselling and prove to yourself that you deserve to feel important. Another way is to set goals and milestones in your life that you want to complete, as it gives you a sense of purpose and provides you direction. Building self-esteem can be done by practicing self-responsibility, which is the concept of being held accountable for your choices. It's the fundamental acceptance of the idea that you make your own decisions and even though others may influence you, ultimately, you are the one in charge. When a bad decision is made, you must acknowledge how and why it happened and then practice self-love by moving on.

Another way to build self-esteem is to see a counsellor who provides guidance and support. Seeking counselling in Kelowna for self-esteem can help you build self-esteem by challenging self-doubt and developing a stronger sense of confidence through empowerment. Building self-esteem is not an easy task, as it involves shifting your thinking and sticking with these strategies. Ultimately, only you have the power to make these changes, and even though it’s difficult, the impacts are well worth it. Building self-esteem is a strategy that everyone should practice, as it can alter your outlook on life and cause small changes to be made that change your life for the better.

Your “easy to talk to therapist”

Kimberly Castle, MTC, RCS

Kimberly Castle is a Registered Counsellor with a private practice in beautiful Kelowna, BC. She focuses on Kelowna Counselling Solutions to empower individuals in all areas of their life. In her practice, she and her team work with individuals on various topics, including trauma and self-esteem counselling.

Blog contribution by Olson Russello, an undergraduate student at the University of Washington



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